As the first week of the New Year comes to an end, most of us are barely hanging on to our resolutions. According to Parade.com there are 10 common resolutions we make. Is yours on the list? Are you succeeding or did you already fail?
- Lose weight
- Improve finances
- Get a new job
- Eat healthier
- Manage Stress better
- Stop smoking
- Improve a relationship
- Stop procrastinating
- Set aside time for yourself
I recently read an article where a mom was not making any resolutions this year. She did not want the pressure of failing and the tag line read that she was just trying to survive the year 2020. Setting goals can be a good thing. When they are realistic, something that means a lot to you and something that will allow for self-growth the resolution or change can result as a positive thing. The most important thing to remember when you make a New Year’s resolution is to go easy on yourself. Just because you ate that chocolate cake on January 5th while out to eat with your girlfriends doesn’t mean you need to throw your hands up and say you failed. You cannot fail if you continue to try. Instead of getting upset with yourself, make it a goal to eat healthy the entire next day or just eat half the cake next time. Just because the calendar read January 1, 2020 doesn’t mean you can’t work on your resolutions a little each day for the whole year.
Eating better, improving your finances and exercising are all things that you can work on day by day. Each day can be the start of a resolution. If you ended up splurging on that venti coffee topped with whipped cream and crushed candy cane when you promised yourself you would eat better and no longer eat out during 2020, don’t give up entirely on your goal just because you caved that one time. Recognize that you bought the sugar-infused coffee and remind yourself why it doesn’t make financial sense to spend $5 on one cup of coffee and most importantly think about the why. Why did you feel the need to buy that pick me up? And then, learn from it. Maybe you were struggling to finish a work project, maybe the kiddos were up late last night, maybe your willpower just isn’t as strong as that java just a few days into a yearlong goal. Give yourself a break and try again, one day at a time.
When you set a resolution, it is important to have a support team. Whether you are looking for a new job, want to eat healthier, strive to manage stress better or realize it is time to stop smoking, you can’t do it alone. Talking things out or writing in a journal will help keep you on track and being held accountable for your actions when things get hard is a wonderful learning moment. Better yet, talk with friends who have similar resolutions to you and plan to talk daily or weekly about each goal. Come up with a game plan with your spouse to browse classifieds for one hour each day, meal prep with your Family, go to a yoga class with your bestie or join a group to help kick those butts to the curb. When you write things down and have conversations with loved ones about the trials and tribulations, it is clear to see the path you are on and it will keep you on track.
Improving a relationship should be on everyone’s list. We can always do better with our spouse’s, children, friendships, colleagues, and most importantly the relationship with yourself. Procrastination can be a good thing when it helps you focus and pushes you to get things done, but usually that is coupled with stress and fatigue. There is a fine balance that most of us strive to achieve. The balance of being a good friend, an amazing mom, the best spouse or the best worker can take a toll on our well being and improving relationships and procrastination end up on the same side of the scale, usually the side that is weighed down. The balance to keep up with the laundry, school homework, pajama day and dinner can be exhausting and we end up feeling like we failed over one simple mistake. So how can we improve relationships and stop procrastinating? By forgiving ourselves and allowing mistakes to happen. We need to recognize that we are being pulled in all different directions and the pressure is real. The answer? Set aside time for yourself. Alone. With your spouse. With each child. With your mom. With your cat. With your favorite book. With your best friend. With your treadmill. The key words are to set aside time. You need it. You crave it. You deserve it.
If you are anything like me, you wonder how did 2019 feel twice as long as other years and question where the heck it actually went. Time flies. It’s true. Before we know it, we will be celebrating 2021 and making new resolutions. Bask in the resolutions that you have kept and let go of the ones you didn’t. As long as you remember to enjoy, truly enjoy, each and every day, you will succeed and see things more clearly. Probably as clear as 20/20.